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MY JOURNAL IS NO LONGER FRIENDS ONLY!

~Emily
XoXoXo

thats my question of the day. I was staning in the hall with Michael, Kelsey, Heather and Jessica. I shall now re-enact what happened.

Ian P.- (walks by, looks at me) "Stupid goth"
Me- "excuse me? what do you know about 'goth'???"
Kelsey- "do you even know what goth is???"
Ian P.- (walks over to Michael, looks at me and Kels, then back to Michael) "Do you know what a fuckin' prep is? huh, punk?"
Me- "really, Ian, what is wrong with you?!?!"
Michael- "Back off man.."
Ian P.- (talking to michael) "why dont you make me? huh?"
Kelsey- Lets not be mean! lets make peace!"

Lmao @ Kels.. her and her wonderful peacefulness..
and all of the other preps were staring at us, ha.. i felt so confident though.
But really, why do people treat other people like that? its really dumb.. just because we're different. I mean, i only like a few preps, such as Jordan, Marz, and Ian Ronzoni.. but thats because they're nice to me... yea.

this is my 154th entry.

well now, im bored.. and ive been thinking.. i dont like the way i think. my mom was opening a box (cuz she couldnt get the tape off) and so she took a knife and stuck it throught the tape and twisted it.. it was all one fluid motion.. i was thinking about how it could happen and it just went through my mind like.. like a flood.. i saw my mom shoving a knife in my stomach.. twisting it like she twisted the tape off the box.. i hate this.. how my mind works.. its terrible, and yet i cant stop it. im not sure, but i really dont think shed do that.. at least i hope not.

then i was thinking, what would happen if someone i loved would leave me.. just dropped me off on the street? i can see myself, sitting on the curb, head buried in my sweater, its like its real, but i dont want it to be. id never want that to happen..

Ive never even told anyone thesethings.. and im afraid if it builds up, i might go insane or something. if youve read the book Cut, or The Hanged Man, or You dont know me, those books just penetrate into my mind.. its a mix of all of them.. its really creepy.. but i wouldnt trade it for anything.. i still love it.. i love the way my mind works.. but i cant take it sometimes.. the way i think and everything..

for a summary- My Mind.. Love/Hate situation.. does anyone else have this problem?

Im changing my username.. Its gonna be XxStillAlivexX okie day? if its not taken.. Ill tell y'all otherwise.

nope. nevermind. now its pennyroyal_tea! YAY! how i love nirvana..

I KNOW RACHAEL SCDORIS! I KNOW RACHAEL SCDORIS! Yes, Ive met her before, and I AM HER FRIEND! haha. I love bragging about that ^^; Oh, If you dont know who she is, She's a sled dog racer, she's legally blind, and I got to wash a few of her hundred or so dogs this summer. Oh and the puppies are so cute!!!
They're advertising the Atta Boy sled dog race alot on TV so I just thought I'd let y'all know I know Rachael. haha

I just saw this website.. pretty sweet ^^' click here

First day back wasn't so bad. Tomorrow's one of my lucky days (according to YM) and then the 24th and 28th. I hope tomorrow is lucky because I get my homework done >_< Humanities and Science. Should be working instead of wishing, eh?

Oh, I figured out Im Athiest/Satanist, I don't really believe in anything, but I believe in Satan and demons and stuff, but not God or Angels or anything, so I guess it's kindof halfwayness.. Dont yell at me. It's my choice ^^'

I'll be poting a couple notes here later.
Whoooo Im gonna go now. BAI!

Maybe I'll stop hating school? Yeah. When geckos crawl out of your anus and yell "SQEEDLE DEEEEE!!!"

*deep sigh* At least ill see all my friends I havent seen since before break.. right? Blah. Most of them dont care about me anyways. Only the ones I have seen this break. And maybe a couple others. EGH! nevermind. just confusing myself.

Hey, lookie there, I had homework. DAMNIT.

Rargh! Tabulas was down for like.. An hour and a half! Jeez! Ooookay...

Elliott is supposed to get on or something and send me something he needs me to print out because his printer is screwed up.. Yea.. Whole big deal.. Haha..

I was just at TheDistillers.com and TheDistillers.net. Yea.. I listened to "Drain The Blood" a few times (okay.. six times. but thats all >>)

Anywho.. Been bored all night. I hate being bored. Even though it's a daily occurence for me. No, hourly occurence.

Oh.. Elliott's on. Bye bye.

I feel alone right now. I feel tired, and hungry, and I DONT WANNA GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW! Oh well, At least I'll see Elliott!

My neice came over today.. wee.

I put on some fake fingernails, they really look fake too. damnit. I put a shiny white nailpolish called "Gardenia Opal" or something.. but anyways.. DAMN ALL TYPES OF FINGERNAILS! EVEN THE REAL ONES! rawr.

Uhm.. Nothin much else... Still listening to Nirvana.. haha. I think I've heard Nevermind twice today, Insesticide twice, and In Utero twice. listening to In Utero again. I have to take a Shower now. Ill bring my cd player in there too. bwahahaha! Im hooked on Nirvana! *gasp* never thought that would happen XD j/k.

Hahahahaha! i had fun killing Jenni's toy's. BLAHAHA

But of course, All the pictures I tried uploading are DUMB and dont wanna show up. So, Ill just show you my buddy list I killed. Im so proud ^^;